


it's a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake

by Bagell



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Baking, F/F, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Getting Together, Greyromantic Fjord, I'll update tags as I go along!, M/M, Multi, Other, author knows NOTHING about baking, friendship!!!!!!, idk how to tag this, it's just really fluffy?, just fluff and shenanigans, light mutual pining, please don't come expecting anything accurate in the kitchen, prove me wrong you can't, the chaos crew is just caleb and his two best friends and qpp who are all dating, there's barely plot, they bake and have fun y'all that's it, this is all fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:00:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25287223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bagell/pseuds/Bagell
Summary: "Simply put, Caduceus isn't in this competition to win, but he also has standards, and he can’t meet those standards if people are invading his kitchen while he’s trying out new recipes."-When a bakery in Nicodranas hosts a baking competition, Jester's excitement is through the roof. Somehow, Caduceus and Fjord get wrapped up in it (and then, of course, so do the rest of the Nein).
Relationships: Caduceus Clay & Fjord, Caduceus Clay/Fjord, Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett, Jester Lavorre/Nott | Veth Brenatto, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 33
Kudos: 101





	1. A Recipe from Nicodranas

**Author's Note:**

> me: i should come up with a really cool and creative title to represent the character's feelings and the events that transpire throughout this fic!!  
> also me: hehe lazy town lyrics go brrr
> 
> i think this fic started bc i just wanted an excuse to write caduceus telling jester to get her girlfriends out of his kitchen
> 
> also i have chapters 1-3 written, i'll upload ch2 when i finish writing ch4!

Nicodranas is a city that is never lacking in party or celebration. Travelling circuses often come through, the number of tourists is never lacking, parades are very often held, and naturally,  _ competitions _ are exceedingly common.

This year, a new bakery had opened. It’s name was the Warmer Stone Forge, a branch of a little shop called the Softer Stone Forge from all the way in Uthodurn, and it quickly became known across the city for the unique black moss cupcakes they sold that no one in town had ever tried before.

(No one except Jester, of course, whose scream had been hard all through the Lavish Chateau when her dear mother had told her about the new opening and Jester had immediately recognized the name of the mysterious confection.)

Not everyone was fond of the new flavor in town, though. In fact, an owner of one of Jester’s favorite bakeries in the whole wide world for their delicious cinnamon pastries had made a snide remark about the Forge in its second week in Nicodranas, and word spread quickly of the tension between the two shops.

Word spread quickly, as in, through the Mighty Nein. Because not many in the coastal city of Nicodranas could care all that much about a bakers’ rivalry, and  _ no one _ in Nicodranas could care about bakeries more than Jester Lavorre.

So of course, when the cinnamon bakery, the Spiced Cupcake, announced a baking competition open to all of Nicodranas, as a “welcome” to the new bakers, with the winner to have their confection on the Cupcake’s menu for an entire month, the Mighty Nein were the  _ first _ to hear all about it.

Actually,  _ Caduceus  _ was one of the first to hear about it. Because, according to Jester, he had to have lots of time to get prepared if he was going to be participating.

  
  


Caduceus doesn’t care all that much for this competition.

It wasn’t his idea to enter it, Jester had entered him, with the help of Beau and Veth’s insistences because Caduceus is their “only friend who knows how to cook,” and they’ll “miss out on so much fun if  _ none _ of our friend group enters it!” 

So Caduceus isn’t really in the competition with the intention to win (despite the way Jester’s eyes had practically started literally glittering when she told him about the prize), especially because the competition is a  _ baking _ contest, not a cooking one. 

But he’s also not in the competition to  _ lose, _ because, well. 

Most people who meet Caduceus don’t think he’s the competitive type. And he’s  _ not, _ not by a long shot in comparison to most of his friends (unless he’s with his siblings), but he also knows he’s not a bad cook. He likes his own cooking, his friends like his cooking, and his family likes his cooking. He’s only recently started baking more, but so far his track record is pretty good. These are things Caduceus knows, and is proud of.

Simply put, he’s not in this competition to  _ win, _ but he also has  _ standards, _ and he can’t meet those standards if people are invading his kitchen while he’s trying out new recipes.

“Jester,” he says, calmly, as Beau loudly throws open a cupboard and Veth grimaces at the taste of a barely prepared ingredient she’d just stuffed in her mouth. He picks up a knife without really meaning to. “Please take your partners out of my kitchen.”

Jester giggles from where she’s swinging her legs atop the counter, and Beau protests, “Hey, since when is it  _ your _ kitchen?”

Caduceus raises an eyebrow, not even bothering to remind her who cooks  _ all _ the meals in the Nein’s shared residence. 

(Well, not all, he supposes. Fjord helps, or offers to at the very least, on most days, and when Caduceus is busy Fjord takes over. Plus, Jester always steps up to help when she requests a particular dessert, and the others all offer to help cook dinner every night. It’s Caduceus who usually kicks them out, or gets Fjord to kick them out when he’s in the middle of a step.)

Still, Beau nods almost immediately after the words leave her mouth and she ushers Veth and Beau out of the kitchen with a muttered, “Yeah, point.”

And then it’s quiet, save for the sounds of the girls still snickering down the hall. 

Caduceus whisks the mixture in the bowl in front of him and looks off at a platter of muffins he’d attempted to make vegan from a non-vegan recipe. They’d tasted… not up to par, but maybe if… 

He puts down the bowl and walks over to the muffins, tearing off a chunk of one and trying it again.

“Yeah, nope,” Caduceus says, mouth full of bad,  _ bad _ muffin. “There’s no redeeming that.”   


He goes back to whisking.

  
  


Fjord stares at the flyer in his hands.

_ Come one, come all! _ it reads.  _ Bring your best baked confections to the beach along the Open Quay on the 5th of Dualahei! The very best recipe, as judged by the finest bakers from your resident Spiced Cupcake, will be featured on the menu of the Spiced Cupcake for a month. _

Fjord sighs and looks up at the canopy of leaves over his head in their rooftop garden. 

He knows Caduceus is entering the competition, Jester made sure everyone knew.

He also knows how to bake. It’s one of the reasons he and Jester were such fast friends, other than the fact that they were both from the Coast, before they met the rest of their group. But he hasn’t had much reason to do it in awhile, too busy with trying to find his footing amongst the Nein, in Nicodranas, in general.

This, though, this could be a reason. Fjord’s had some more spare time recently and he’d certainly been considering trying to bake again.

What would he even make?

He reads the flyer again. Nodding to himself despite the fact that he has no ideas, Fjord stands and makes his way to the kitchen.

  
  


Jester drops her tablet as dramatically as possible to the bed. “You guys,” she says, loudly, importantly.

Beau and Veth look at her. 

“We should totally enter the contest.”   


“The baking one?” Beau says, an eyebrow raised. “The one we forced Cad to enter?”

_ “Yes!” _ Jester bounces on her bed. “Oh my god why didn’t we think of that earlier, if we wanted to get involved why didn’t  _ we _ just enter?”

“Because… We don’t know how to bake?” Beau says slowly.

“Speak for yourself,” Veth says. “My biggest aspiration in life used to be to become a house wife. I definitely know how to bake.”

“And I only mess up like, twenty percent of the time!” Jester says, and deigns not to mention that a good forty percent of the times she’s tried to help out in the kitchen she’s gotten distracted or Cad’s kicked her out.

“Right, right. But why would we  _ enter _ the contest…” Beau shifts on Jester’s bed, bringing her hands together to gesture. “When we could just go as spectators and eat all the samples people put out?”

Veth nods at that and Jester sighs loudly. “Because if we do  _ that, _ going to eat all the samples is  _ one _ date. If we  _ make  _ something  _ and _ enter, that’s  _ two _ dates! Plus we’ve never had a baking date!”

“Well if we entered I think it’d probably take more than one date to figure out what we’re making and actually make it successfully,” Veth points out.

“True, Cad’s spent like two weekends in the kitchen already and I don’t think he’s figured out what he’s doing,” Beau says, but she seems to be considering.   


“I don’t think it’ll take us that long,” Jester says, and ignores the skeptical looks from her partners. “But anyway, that’s beside the point! Are you in??”

Veth seems like she’s got, but Beau still looks slightly skeptical, so Jester continues. “C’mon  _ Beau… _ Imagine!” Jester tosses her hands up, framing the mental picture she’s about to illustrate. “The Spiced Cupcake, featured menu, bakers’ recommendation…  _ The Chaos Crew Cake.” _

Beau sighs, but from her wide eyes, slow nod, and the whole look on her face, Jester knows she’s got her. She grins and wiggles happily at Veth, who grins back and makes a C-C with her hands.

“Shit, that’s like three C’s,” Beau says. She sighs again, but she’s smiling. “Alright, you win.”

“Chaos crew!” Jester cheers, and leaps off the bed, knowing Veth and Beau are right behind her.


	2. You Will Need...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caduceus decides on a recipe, the Chaos Crew realize Baking Is Hard, and Fjord takes one step back but a half step forward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i finished writing chapters 1-4!! now all that's left is the epilogue :D
> 
> i'm hoping to finish the epilogue and upload ch3 by next wednesday 
> 
> enjoy the read!

Fjord’s leaning over his recipe ideas on the kitchen counter when Caduceus walks in.

“Oh, Fjord, are you also planning on entering the competition?”

Fjord startles, sending one paper flying and haphazardly sweeping the other papers into a drawer before leaning _casually_ back on the counter, one hand on his hip. “What? No, I don’t-- what competition?” _Smooth._

Caduceus makes a face that’s hard to read before smiling and walking into the kitchen. “Well, in that case, would you mind helping me out? I haven’t decided yet what to make.”

Fjord blinks and adjusts his position, looking up at Cad. “Are you still entering it? Didn’t Jester say she decided to enter with Veth and Beau so you don’t have to?”

Caduceus shrugs. “She did. I kind of still want to though,” and there’s a little twinkle in his eyes when he says that. “I think I’m starting to get the hang of baking.”

Fjord nods. “Alright then, what do you have so far? Do you want to make cupcakes, muffins, pie… What’ve you got?”

“Absolutely nothing,” Caduceus responds, smiling serenely. “I have no idea.”

Fjord blinks again. “Okay, well,” he says, stumbling. “How about the recipes you’ve tried so far? Are there any that stood out to you, or maybe one that you think would be easier to adjust?”

“Uh,” Caduceus starts, shifting his weight and setting his cane against the counter so he can lean on the counter next to Fjord. “Not really? Some of them were better than others but none really felt right.”

“How about family recipes? Anything your siblings or parents or aunt taught you that you like a lot?”

“Umm…” Caduceus rubs his lips together, thinking. “We didn’t really do sweets all that often. Calliope and Colton both had sweet tooths, but they would travel a lot so they got their share of sweet foods on the road.”

Fjord nudges him. “You know you don’t necessarily have to make something sweet, right? The flyer was pretty vague, but I’m pretty sure anything’s allowed so long as it’s baked.”

“I want to challenge myself though,” Caduceus says. “I make savory foods all the time. I hardly ever make things that are mainly sweet, unless at Jester’s request.”

“Huh,” Fjord nods. “That’s cool of you, to expand your horizons.”

“Learned from the best,” Caduceus murmurs, so quietly that Fjord wouldn’t have heard it if he wasn’t always clinging on to every word he says.

Fjord smiles to himself, feeling his cheeks warm. He clears his throat and waves his hands over the counter. “Okay, so if you want to make something sweet, we have a number of options. Do you want a very mild sweetness, semi-sweet like dark chocolate, a standard bakery sweetness, or a Jester-unsupervised-in-the-kitchen-sweetness?” At the face Caduceus makes at the last one, Fjord bursts into laughter. “Definitely not the last option, then. Perhaps 1 or 2?”

Caduceus nods. “That sounds good.”

“And definitely vegan.”

He nods again.

“Gluten-free?”

“Sure.”

Fjord pauses and looks at Cad. “Cad, this is your entry. Don’t just nod along to everything I say.” He asks again. “Gluten-free?”

Caduceus thinks a bit this time, eyes leaving Fjord’s face before he nods again. “Yeah, I think so,” he says, and this time Fjord feels a little better about it. “Maybe I could do something Jester’s made or bought before. Modify the recipe a bit.”

“Oh, yeah, like those mushroom cupcakes you made awhile ago! Didn’t you say that used to be a red velvet recipe or something?”

Caduceus chuckles. “The original thing she bought were these red velvet cupcakes that _looked_ like mushrooms. I thought I could try to make ones that had mushroom in them too.” He pauses, smiling to himself. “She didn’t like those very much.”

“Well, there’s no accounting for poor taste,” Fjord huffs. _“I_ thought those were delicious.”

“You have peculiar taste, Fjord,” Caduceus says, and at that Fjord gapes and turns to him.

“How _dare_ you, those were _divine!”_

Caduceus stares at him for awhile before shaking his head. “Cooking for you is always interesting,” he says. “I always think you’re going to be picky but you insist on eating the things I’m certain you were going to ask me to cut out.”

Fjord rolls his eyes. “I still can’t believe you thought I’d want the crusts of my sandwiches cut off.”

“Because you _used_ to want the crusts off when we went to that deli,” Caduceus retorts, quicker than he usually does, and Fjord grins before quickly smothering it.

“That was before you told me there were nutrients in the crust of the bread,” Fjord insists, and opens a cupboard before realizing they still haven’t decided on a recipe. “Anyway, back to the subject matter,” he says pointedly, and ignores Caduceus’ chuckle. “Any ideas for what you want to make?”

Caduceus hums to himself, before saying, only a little teasing, “I could try those mushroom cupcakes, since you seemed to like them so much.”

Fjord laughs but shakes his head. “Yes, but I don’t think you liked them. You should make something _you_ like.”

“Well,” Caduceus says, and shifts his weight against the counter. “I have been wanting to modify the recipe. It was kind of unsatisfying leaving that project ending like that.”

“I still think they were very satisfactory, but that’s neither here nor there,” Fjord says, only slightly indignant. “But that’s a good idea,” he nods. “Do you want any help with that?”

“Um,” Caduceus makes a weird shape with his mouth before seeming to decide on something. “You’ve already been a great help, that’s alright. Thank you.”

Fjord looks closely at him before opening the cupboard once more and pulling out a bag of flour. “Nonsense,” he says. “Let me help just a bit more. You can kick me out of the kitchen after we’ve mixed dry ingredients, how about that?”

Caduceus smiles, and Fjord knows he made a right decision. “Okay,” he says, nodding. “So, I was thinking for the decorations…”

In the back of Fjord’s mind, as he looks up at Caduceus, listening intently, he kisses the mushroom cupcake recipe idea for his own entry goodbye.

 _Worth it, though,_ he thinks, as Caduceus smiles, reanimated, while they move around the kitchen together.

  
  


“Okay, so,” Jester says, clapping her hands together. She’s wearing an adorable frilly pink apron with embroidered calligraphy that says “Sugar,”, matching Veth’s apron that says “Spice,”, and Beau’s that says “Everything Nice”. 

(They were, of course, a gift from Caleb around a year ago. Beau hates hers with a heavy passion that could only be quelled by Jester’s excitement when they first received the gift. She begrudgingly accepted it when Caleb pointed out the little embroidered “C-C” in the corner of the apron. Jester and Veth also made one for Caleb, as he was one of the founders of the Chaos Crew, one that says, in an only slightly messy paint job, “and”.)

“It definitely has to be a chocolate cake,” Jester announces. “And it definitely has to have at least three layers.”

“Really?” Beau says, sitting atop the counter next to Veth. “Don’t you want to do something blue, like blueberry?”

“Blueberry looks more purple in cakes and smoothies and stuff, though,” Veth points out.

“But it’s--” Beau sputters, aghast. “It’s literally called _blueberry.”_

“Yeah, because the _berry_ is blue,” Veth says, gesturing. “But when it’s turned into smoothies and cakes and things it comes out purple.”

“That literally--”

 _“You guys,”_ Jester says seriously. “Focus. And plus, I like purple anyway, so I think that’s a great idea! We can do chocolate _and_ blueberry!”

“Ooh, what if we did a chocolate layer, then a blueberry layer, then another chocolate layer?” Beau stacks her hands to mime the cake layers. “So when you cut it open it looks really cool?” 

_“Oh my god this is going to be the best. Cake. Ever,”_ Jester says, pushing off the counter and doing a dance around the kitchen as she starts to get out ingredients and mixers. “Whoo! Let’s do this!”

  
  


Caduceus has gotten out paper, some colored pens, the internet, and a pot of tea, and is sitting against their tree when he realizes that his drawing skills are only slightly more usable then his reading skills.

He sighs, looks at his pot of tea, takes a healthy gulp from his cup, swishing the tea in his mouth, and reluctantly gets out his phone.

**weed kids minus the rat**

**less annoying brother:** help

He takes a picture of the blank page. Then, right before sending it, takes another picture, this time with his nice, fancy teapot in view of the shot, and sends that one instead.

**weed kids minus the rat**

**less annoying brother:** [sent a photo]

 **women** **want me fish fear me:** what

 **belle:** oooh is that a new teapot?

 **less annoying brother:** how do i design a cupcake

 **women want me fish fear me:** .

 **women want me fish fear me:** you,, use flour sugar and an oven???

 **less annoying brother:** no

 **less annoying brother:** also yeah clare isn’t it nice?

 **women want me fish fear me:** wtf

 **women want me fish fear me:** are you gonna give context or

 **less annoying brother:** oh yeah

 **less annoying brother:** i’m entering a baking competition

 **belle:** oooh fun!! what’re you making?

 **women want me fish fear me:** why

 **less annoying brother:** you know that mushroom bread dad makes

 **women want me fish fear me:** YES

 **women want me fish fear me:** WAIT NO YOU’RE GONNA RUIN IT

 **belle:** caduceus you know i love you

 **belle:** but why

 **belle:** i thought u were with me

 **women want me fish fear me:** join us join us join us

 **belle:** nO it’s groooosss

 **less annoying brother:** yeah so awhile ago i tried to make a cupcake version

 **belle:** W H Y

 **women want me fish fear me:** N O

 **women want me fish fear me:** CADUCEUS THAT’S GROSS

 **belle:** ^^^^^^

 **less annoying brother:** i actually agree but fjord likes it

 **less annoying brother:** anyway

 **women want me fish fear me:** oh???? caduceus,,,,,,

 **belle:** :))))

 **less annoying brother:** anyway

 **women want me fish fear me:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **less annoying brother:** it was still pretty gross so i wanna modify the recipe

 **less annoying brother:** but that’s not why i texted i can do that myself

 **women want me fish fear me:** rude

 **less annoying brother:** anyway how do i design a cupcake

 **women want me fish fear me:** i still have no fucking idea what you mean

 **less annoying brother:** like frosting

 **less annoying brother:** i wanna make a cool mushroom design but i don’t know what to do

 **less annoying brother:** and one of you has helped me design a jacket and the other helped me decorate my walking cane so

 **women want me fish fear me:** that was still half you why do you need us

 **belle:** yeah you did plenty of that yourself !!

 **less annoying brother:** yeah but i wanna plan it this time

 **women want me fish fear me:** the,,, jacket was planned,,

 **less annoying brother:** yeah but i wanna draw a plan

 **belle:** ohhh

 **women want me fish fear me:** we drew out the jackets before we made them????

 **less annoying brother:** yeah but i’m not with you

 **women want me fish fear me:** so????? just draw it on your own???

 **less annoying brother:** i can’t

 **women want me fish fear me:** wdym??

 **less annoying brother:** i don’t know how to draw

 **women want me fish fear me:**.

 **women want me fish fear me:** what the fuck

 **women want me fish fear me:** what about when we were planning the jackets???

 **less annoying brother:** you drew the plans, i just made comments

 **less annoying brother:** you were so focused you didn’t notice

 **women want me fish fear me:** what about when you and belle decorated your cane???

 **belle:** oh we didn’t draw anything beforehand

 **belle:** i just found some beetles that day next to some cool moss

 **belle:** and now his cane looks like that!!

 **less annoying brother:** yeah thanks belle :) i still really like it

 **belle:** <3

 **women want me fish fear me:** how have you never drawn ever

 **women want me fish fear me:** you have such a specific aesthetic

 **less annoying brother:** yeah and i plan it without drawing

 **less annoying brother:** although sometimes i get help like from you two or corrin or jester

 **women want me fish fear me:** ok then why draw a plan now?? or why not get help from jester?

 **less annoying brother:** i want to draw one

 **less annoying brother:** jester’s also entering the competition

 **women want me fish fear me:** ,,,

 **women want me fish fear me:** ok fine

 **women want me fish fear me:** i have my sketchbook with me, get on discord so you can see 

**belle:** i don’t have paper right now but i’ll send pictures of beetles and mushrooms if that helps!

 **less annoying brother:** always, thanks belle

 **less annoying brother:** and thanks calliope

 **women want me fish fear me:** yeah yeah just hurry up and get on discord

 **less annoying brother:** going :P <3

 **women want me fish fear me:** [eyeroll emoji]

  
  


“So…” Jester says, sprawled on the kitchen floor and covered in flour, cocoa powder, half-made frosting, glass, and batter. There’s a smear of egg on her cheek. “We probably should have found recipes first.”

“In our defense,” Veth says loftily, also lying down on the kitchen floor. She hoists a frosting covered finger towards the ceiling. “How were _we_ supposed to know that if you mix something hard enough, it could go flying out of your hands and the bowl could shatter against the refrigerator?”

“Didn’t you just say the other day that you knew how to bake because you used to think you were gonna be a housewife?” Beau says, frowning as she picks some glass off her apron. Her prone form on the tile completes the set.

“How dare you try to put this on me. Anyway, next time we should probably have a more concrete plan.”

“Yeah,” Jester says, sighing. “That’s probably a good idea.” She hears Beau groan at a cut on her finger, casts a quick Cure Wounds, and begins to try to get off the floor.

At the sight of her partners looking much the same as her, messy, tired, and covered in various ingredients and broken kitchen items, she can’t stop the giggles from escaping her mouth. Soon enough, Veth and Beau are laughing too, and then she’s on the floor again, giggling uncontrollably amongst eggs, batter, broken glass, and her similarly prone partners.

Oh well. She can stay on the floor for a bit longer.

  
  


Fjord sighs as he walks back into the kitchen. He hasn’t been able to think of any new ideas since giving the one he’d been set on to Caduceus earlier. He opens up the drawer he’d shoved his earlier ideas into when Caduceus had walked in and collects them, absentmindedly flipping through them to try and see if any of them still seem nice. 

None.

He sighs again.

He turns, and right as he’s about to shift his hip to nudge the drawer closed, his eye flits down to the contents of the drawer and he stops.

Nestled in the back corner of the drawer are three pots of honey. 

He sets his papers down and pulls out the medium-sized jars, examining the labels.

 _Bisaft Meadery,_ they say, with cute little honeycombs sketched around the name. He can’t remember if he or Jester ordered them, buying them online after they’d ran out of the honey they purchased at Bisaft on that trip awhile ago. He’d honestly forgot they had these.

Fjord turns the jars over, checking each one for its expiration date. So far, so good.

It was a fun trip, one they took when Fjord hadn’t yet felt completely sure how to act around this group. He remembers stopping at Bisaft, finding out Caduceus was vegan, watching Veth pocket some boar at breakfast for Caleb, getting to know Yasha more, purchasing mead and honey and looking on as Jester, Caduceus, and Yasha talked about talking to bees. He remembers rooming with Molly and Caduceus and wondering if he could talk to them, if he could be comfortable with them, Molly who he’d known for awhile and had confided in before, and Caduceus who was traveling with them for the first time but already seemed like he could see through Fjord. He remembers, despite his unsurety, starting to become closer than ever with Beau.

Fjord was in a weird place then, but Bisaft brings good memories.

This could… Fjord turns over the jars again, opening one and inhaling the scent of sweet, rich honey.

He coughs. It’s really incredibly sweet.

He screws the pot shut. This could work.


	3. Prep Time: 1 Hour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Chaos Crew have multiple revelations, Caduceus celebrates a good recipe with Caleb, and Fjord gets some help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who's back! back again! guess who's back! tell a friend!!
> 
> i finished writing the epilogue early so here's chapter 3!!! chapter 4 will come on wednesday and ch 5 (the epilogue) will be posted next sunday :D
> 
> also i've spent HOURS on a jesterveth c2e102 drawing and i still see no end in sight why is lighting a thing

Jester considers the scene before her incredibly seriously, her chin propped up on her hand as she sits criss-cross apple sauce on Beau’s bed.

Veth moves rapidly, pinning strings up on a conspiracy board and scrabbling to reach the higher parts of the board, Caleb’s arms around her shoulders like an oversized backpack as he waddles to keep up with her pacing. Beau sits off to the side, occasionally shouting suggestions to add but mostly taking pictures to send to the groupchat.

“So far!” Veth announces, whirling around to face Jester and Beau and slamming a hand against the bulletin board. Caleb almost falls over behind her. “We have a three-tier,” Veth points to a picture of a three-tiered wedding cake pinned to the board. “Chocolate and blueberry,” she realizes she doesn’t have enough arms to point to all the images they’d printed off Pinterest of different chocolate and blueberry cupcakes. Caleb summons dancing lights to frame the images in question and Veth grins, reaching up to pat him on the cheek. “Thanks, handsome,” she says, and he grins, before immediately almost falling over once again as she scurries over to the other side of the board so she can point dramatically again. Caleb’s lights follow her fingers to surround pictures of fondant and chocolate dicks. “On top of the cake will be at _least_ one dick statue in the shape of the Traveller’s hood and cloak,” she mimes the shape of said cloak before putting her hands on her hips. “And the cake will be super delicious and obviously the best and Chaos Crew wins everything and also the tiers get smaller towards the top because _duh_ and Chaos Crew wins everything.” She looks around at Jester and Beau. “All good?”

“Beautiful!” Jester bursts out, almost falling off the bed in her enthusiasm as she claps at the display. “It’s going to be _so perfect_ and we are going to have the best cake _ever!”_

Beau nods next to Jester, only slightly misty-eyed. “Yeah, this is going to be pretty fucking good.”

 _“Ja,_ I have a question,” Caleb says. The other three members of the Chaos Crew immediately turn to him. “Do you have recipes yet?”

All three of them blink, slowly mulling over the question before collapsing onto whatever nearest flat surface with collective groans (Veth dislodges Caleb from around her shoulders as she flops onto the ground).

“Oh my god,” Jester says, staring up at the ceiling. “You guys, this is so difficult.”

“Isn’t this the same mistake we made last time?” Beau points out, hands over her face.

“It’s not our fault!” Veth exclaims. “We got too wrapped up in our conspiracy board! Could you blame us? This,” she waves her hands at the board wildly. “Is a work of _art!”_

“Let’s just look up random easy recipes for the layers and frosting online.” Beau grabs her phone again and immediately starts typing. “The presentation is the important part, right?”

Jester and Veth immediately makes noises of agreement while Caleb stares at the conspiracy board.

“You know,” Jester says. “I think as long as the cake is slightly edible and the chocolate dick statue looks perfect, nothing else matters.”

She grins as the other three all concede her point.

  
  


When Fjord knocks on Molly’s door, there’s silence for a moment before Molly’s voice rings out through the wood, “Yes, come in, dear!”

He balances the tray he’s holding on one hand and cracks the door open to see Molly and Yasha reclined on Molly’s bed, a nailclipper in one of Molly’s hands and a thick book in Yasha’s. A wave of trepidation washes through him before he sighs quietly and steps into the room. He was planning on showing both of them anyway, what’s the two at once?

“Hi,” he says, nervous. “Um,” before he pauses and realizes that though he definitely rehearsed this in his head, he suddenly has no idea how to start this conversation.

“Hello,” Molly says, setting the nail clipper down. “Everything alright, dear?” His eyes flit down, spotting the tray now clutched again in both hands. “Ooh, what’s that? A gift?” He waggles his eyebrows and Fjord huffs a laugh, grateful for Molly’s dispersion of the tension in the room.

“Ah, of sorts,” he says and walks over to sit on the bed next to them. He sets the tray down, three golden yellow honey tarts gleaming atop it. “I made these, and was hoping you two’d try them and tell me what you think?”

Molly gasps in delight and Yasha sits up, tucking a bookmark in her book before setting it down. Molly’s already grabbed one and stuffed most of it in his mouth by the time Yasha looks at Fjord, question in her eyes. He nods, and she, with even less dignity than Molly, takes a tart and eats it in one bite.

Fjord watches them, gauging their reactions carefully. Molly’s moaning, which is uncomfortable but probably a good sign, and Yasha is covering her mouth as she realizes the tart is almost too big for her mouth and tries to keep it down, which is… difficult to tell as a good or bad sign.

Fjord’s eyes widen as Yasha begins to choke and Molly stops between his first and last bite to wordlessly hand a glass of water from his bedside table to Yasha, waving off Fjord’s look of concern.

“So,” Molly says, clapping his hands together after he’s finished his tart. Yasha has also finished hers and is chugging water. “That was absolutely divine and I am a) offended that I have never had your baking before, that I can remember, and b) going to give you a bad review unless you let me have this last beautiful little treat on this happy little tray?” He grins and looks hopefully at Fjord, tilting his chin to gesture towards the last honey tart.

Fjord chuckles and nods, Molly immediately cheering and grabbing the last tart off the tray.

“These are… amazing, Fjord,” Yasha says, as Molly scarfs down his second tart. “Where did you learn how to make them?”

“Oh, you know,” Fjord says, shrugging bashfully. “I just, looked up a recipe online and modified it? Not that complicated.” He shifts on the bed and looks at the two of them. “Um, is there anything I should change? Something that would make it better? Is it too sweet, too flaky?”

“Yes, I think next time you should make more than three,” Molly says, and Fjord and Yasha laugh.

“I made more,” Fjord starts and rolls his eyes when Molly and Yasha both immediately perk up. “Calm down, the recipe isn’t done yet. You’ll get more later, I promise.” He pauses, then adds, “But only if you give me good feedback.”

“They’re delicious,” Molly says immediately, grinning cheekily before seeming to actually think for a moment when Fjord gives him a look of exasperation.

“Well,” Yasha starts. “Maybe a little less sugar? I don’t know, maybe that’s just the honey but it really is very sweet.” She seems to think of something and straightens. “Don’t put any less honey, though! It tastes very good.”

“Alright,” Fjord says, nodding. “I did put quite a bit of sugar, and the honey is already sweet on its own, so I could probably do less next time.”

“Could you do something to make it lighter?” Molly says, and Fjord turns to him. “Not that this is a complaint at all, darling, I promise you they’re already _delicious.”_ And he smirks when Fjord laughs. “It’s just, the honey is _very_ rich, as the main flavor of it, and I want to eat about two thousand of these but would probably get somewhat sick of it by the third or fourth.” 

“I could probably do something about that,” Fjord says, considering. There’s a beep from below and Fjord straightens, looking at the clock in the room. He picks up the tray and steps off the bed, smiling easily at Yasha and Molly. “I have to go check on that, but really, thank you two so much.

“You can bring us more as payment!” Molly shouts after him.

Fjord laughs. “Will do!” he replies, and rushes down the stairs to check the oven.

  
  


When Caleb walks into the kitchen, it is to the sight of Caduceus staring at the ceiling.

Caleb stands there for a moment, unsure of what to do or if he’s interrupting something, and is about to leave Caduceus to his thoughts when Caduceus’ arms suddenly come up and he fist pumps. Twice. Oh, three times. Wow, he must be very excited.

Caleb watches as Caduceus starts to do a little dance around the kitchen (the _messy_ kitchen, Caleb notices. Every square centimeter of space is covered by some bowl, ingredient, batter, or kitchen appliance, and every few meters sits a cupcake, loaf, or muffin), before the firbolg’s eyes blink open. 

“Hi, Caleb,” he says, still dancing a little.

Caleb enters the kitchen, waving his arms a little bit and starting to dance alongside Caduceus. “Did something good happen?” he asks. “You seem to be in great spirits.”

Caduceus’ smiles, big and excited, and holds one hand out to Caleb, which Caleb now sees is holding onto a, frankly _huge,_ he’s surprised he didn’t notice it sooner, cupcake or muffin, with a few bites out of it. He reaches out and takes it from Caduceus, who’s still dancing, and rips a small piece off to try it. Caduceus watches as he chews, and his eyes widen.

It is… good. Yes, it’s good. But it definitely has a unique flavor. The texture is _incredible,_ amazingly spongy and soft and interspersed with bits of blackberry and apricot. It’s sweet, but subtly so, and definitely delicious, Caleb decides, and underneath it all is… is…

“Is that mushroom?” Caleb says finally, and Caduceus _beams._

“What do you think?” he asks, and Caleb grins a bit as his tail, if not for his dancing, gives away his excitement.

“I think it is delicious,” Caleb says, and goes to rip another chunk off. “Ah, may I?” he asks, and at Caduceus’ motion of consent he takes another bite. “You have truly outdone yourself, Caduceus. This is…” Something from awhile ago in Caleb’s memory catches. “Ah, but this is different from that other time you made cupcakes with mushroom.”

Caduceus chuckles. “Yeah, it’s much better now this time, right?” he says, and it is quite nice seeing him this excited and… light.

“The addition of fruit was a splendid idea,” Caleb says, and takes another bite because it really is peculiar and it really is delicious.

“Thank you, the mushroom was kind of overpowering and I wanted to it to be the bread of the recipe, not the jam, you know?”

Caleb nods. “That makes sense. So, is this what you are entering?”

“I think so,” Caduceus says. “I just need to try the decorations now.” He scratches his head. “Actually, with how the actual baking went, I’ll probably need to spend the whole next week leading up to the competition working on the decorations.”

Caleb looks around the kitchen at that, once again taking in the mess and the other finished confections lying around. _“Ja,_ about that, how many different tests did you do?”

“Um,” Caduceus says, and seems to do some mental counting for a moment. “Four?” he says sheepishly. “I visited Clarabelle this week and gave her most of the failed batches. The moorbounder, not my sister.”

Caleb feels his eyebrows climb up his face. “That is… a lot. You are certainly invested in this competition,” he observes.

“I really didn’t mean to get like this,” Caduceus says. “I just… once Fjord gave me an idea I couldn’t seem to stop until,” he waves a hand at the large cupcake still between Caleb’s fingers.

“Ah,” Caleb says. He chuckles. “Yes, I can definitely understand getting tunnel vision while working on something.”

“Yeah,” Caduceus says, smiling, and he reaches forward and rips a bit off the cupcake to eat.

Caleb smiles back and tears the cupcake in half, giving one half to Caduceus and contently eating the other. 

“So,” Caleb says, after awhile. “Fjord gave you the idea?”

Caduceus hums. “He liked the original mushroom cupcakes from awhile ago,” he says, and laughs at Caleb’s involuntary grimace. “Yeah, I feel the same way about those.”

“Do you think he’ll be upset about you switching the recipe?” Caleb says humorously.

“Nah, he gave me the idea,” Caduceus says. “I actually have no idea how he’ll react to these though. Sometimes he’s really picky but other times he’ll eat anything I put in front of him.”

“I’m sure he’ll like them,” Caleb says, then contemplates if he should say something or not. Caduceus is… observant but he seems to not have recognized this particular pattern yet. “I have noticed he’s picky whenever trying food by others, particularly new people, but he is almost always receptive to your cooking.”

Caduceus stops chewing when he says that, then promptly starts again when he’s noticed he’s stopped, and Caleb hides a smile behind a piece of cupcake. 

“Yeah, well,” Caduceus says. “I try my best to make things healthy and likable, per person. That includes Fjord.”

“Of course,” Caleb says. “And we are always thankful for not just your cooking, but the accommodations you make us.” Finishing his half of cupcake, Caleb brushes his hands off and begins to make his way to the kitchen door. “Let me know if you need help cleaning up later or with dinner.”

Caleb smiles to himself and leaves Caduceus to his thoughts.

  
  


“Holy fucking shit, Beau,” Jester says.

“Those are some amazing tits,” Veth agrees.

Before them, Beau sculpts a pair of truly spectacular boobs made of chocolate. Next to the sculpture is an army of realistically and not-at-all realistically proportioned chocolate and fondant dicks.

“It’s like I said,” Beau says, completely focused on her craft. “It’s all about patience.”

“And love, I’m sure,” Veth says, not for the first time. “I have never known a single person who loves tits as much as you do.”

“You’re a close second,” Jester says, and pats Veth’s shoulder.

“Thanks, Jessie, you are too.”

“I don’t know, man,” Beau says with a grin, finally taking a step back to gaze at her work. “Yasha could probably give me a run for my money.”

“Oooh, true,” Jester says. “Or Molly, honestly.”

“We’re a titty loving friend group,” says Veth, nodding proudly.

“I mean, can you blame us? Look!” Jester points at the marvelous boob sculpture. “They inspire artwork!”

“It’s true,” Beau says. “I think this is one of my best works.”

“Man,” Jester sighs. “You guys, I really love the Traveller, but sometimes I wonder why dick statues are more His holy symbol than boob statues, you know?”

“Have you ever tried giving him a boob statue?” Veth asks.

Jester thinks for a moment. She thinks some more. Holy shit. “Traveller?” she says, looking around for Him. “Hey, Traveller, do you want statues of boobs, too? Or just dicks?”

“I feel like he’d probably appreciate both,” Beau says, straightening up and leaning against the counter, licking the chocolate from her fingers.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe I’ve never asked him this before,” Jester says. “Traveller! _Traveller!_ Artagan! Oh my god, Traveller, this is _important!”_

  
  


The chimes in front of the door ring out loudly as Beau enters the house. She sheds her light jacket, stretching with a groan as she turns and--

Comes face to face with a nervous, beaming Fjord wearing bright red oven mitts.

“Uh… Hi?” she says slowly, hanging her coat up. “Are you… okay?”

“Hi,” Fjord says. “Could you do me a favor?”

“Sure?” Beau replies, not feeling very sure at all. “What do you need, man?”

“Um,” Fjord says. “I made some tarts, and I was hoping you could try one and tell me what you think? If I should, you know, change anything or add something.”

“Oh, cool,” Beau says, following him into the kitchen. “Didn’t know you baked.”

“Ah, well, new hobby, I guess,” he replies, taking some tarts from a tray and plating them before he stops. “No, sorry, that’s a lie. I’ve known how to bake for awhile, just haven’t done it alone for a long time until recently.”

“Why not?” Beau asks, taking an offered tart from the plate. It’s a pretty yellow color and a bit of the side flakes off in her fingers. She bites into it as he responds.

She actually has to swallow down her yelp of surprise so as to not interrupt him because it’s _really good._ It’s sweet, and rich, and _oh my god, is that coconut?_

“--busy, I guess,” Fjord is saying. “I don’t know, I guess I just happened to know how to bake before? I didn’t learn it for anything special, it was just something I knew how to do. When Jester and I first became friends I baked pretty often, but then we got busier and _then_ even when things would settle down a bit, we’d met Caduceus.” 

Beau puts her sudden newfound love for this tart on hold for a moment to listen. 

“I don’t know,” Fjord says again. “I wasn’t even really all that into it before but now that I seem to have--” he chuckles and hoists up a pan sitting on the stove, gesturing with it. “--gotten back into the groove, if you will. I might’ve missed it a bit.”

“So that’s like, really cool, man,” Beau says quickly, when Fjord’s stopped for awhile. “And I’m really glad you could tell me about this hobby of yours and it’s super cool that you’ve gotten into it again.” She takes a deep breath, feeling like every second going by is another second she could be _eating this tart._ “This,” she says, pointing to the tart. “Is one of the best things I have ever put in my mouth, neck and neck with some of the things Caduceus has made.” She pauses and can’t help but smirk and add, “--and, well--”

“Nope,” Fjord says, quickly, interrupting and stuffing the rest of the tart into Beau’s mouth. “Don’t wanna know.”

Beau gives him a thumbs up and moans around the tart in her mouth, pointedly ignoring Fjord’s disgusted face.

“Fuck,” she says when she finishes the tart, and immediately grabs another. 

“Hey--” Fjord says, and she pauses, the tart inches from her mouth. He sighs, making a motion for her to go ahead.

“Fuck,” she says again, when she finishes her second tart. “How the fuck did you make that?”

“Oh, um, you know,” he says, and waves a spatula around (Beau has no idea when he got out a spatula).

“No,” Beau says. She stares at him. “I don’t.”

He rolls his eyes. “I gave some to Molly and Yasha first, and they gave me some suggestions. How’s the coconut? I know you don’t usually like coconut.”

“I really don’t,” Beau whines. “But I’d eat like four million of these.”

Fjord beams. “The coconut was a later addition. It used to be just honey as the main flavor, but Molly said that was a little heavy, so I added coconut and made the honey more a compliment to it.”

Beau nods. Her eyes drift to the plate, still with three more tarts stacked on it. She licks her lips.

Over her head, she hears Fjord sigh.

“Okay, dude,” she says, and looks away from the love of her life to stare into Fjord’s eyes. “It’s really, really cool hearing you talk about baking.” Fjord smiles like he’s amused and doesn’t believe her. “No, it really is,” she says, trying to sound sincere, because she is. “And you’re really good at it.” She pauses. _“Because_ you’re really good at it, I _need_ a moment. With the tarts on that plate.”

Fjord sighs, but he looks happy and amused as much as exasperated, and nods, so Beau grabs the plate and runs up the stairs. “Thanks man!”

“Don’t spill crumbs everywhere!” she hears Fjord yell after her, before she ducks into her room and has a private moment with the tarts.

(She comes back down a few minutes later to see if he needs any help with anything, remembering that he had asked for some feedback. But that’s after she desecrates every crumb on the plate.)

  
  


Caduceus can’t really sleep. 

He looks over at Yasha, curled up on the bed and snoring softly. He’d fallen asleep first, as he always does, but now he’s awake and he can’t seem to fall back asleep.

So he exits his room once he’s sure Yasha won’t wake up from the lack of his snoring _(not_ that he snores, but. It’s good to be considerate) and walks down the stairs, intending to spend some time in his garden.

He stops though, in the hall. He’s still not quite done with the decorations for the mushroom cupcake. He could head to the kitchen and work for a bit on that. 

He’s about to step towards the kitchen to do just that when he notices. The light in the kitchen is on, and a moment later, a pot clangs loudly and Caduceus hears Fjord’s voice around a swear.

Caduceus swallows a quiet laugh and shakes his head, smiling without meaning to.

Caduceus knew, of course, that Fjord was going to be entering the competition, much as Fjord was for some reason hiding the fact. He’s too perceptive not to have, and besides, Fjord hadn’t hid this secret nearly as well as he’d hid some of his other ones in the past.

Caduceus listens for another minute, not really knowing why (well, knowing at least a bit why), and shakes his head again.

He makes a mental note to tell Fjord to sleep more, and heads to the garden.


	4. Bake Time: 25 Minutes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Competition day! It's a wonderful, very nice day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :))

The beach along the Open Quay in Nicodranas is teeming with activity on the morning of the 5th of Dualahei. Long tables are set up along the beach with little notecards that have the names of contestants and the ingredients for their entries. There are three notecards per table, spaced evenly and decorated with the classic warm browns and toasty oranges of the Spiced Cupcake’s branding. The last table in the long line sits under a banner that keeps threatening to fall over under the coastal winds. The banner reads, “Come One, Come All!” and under it, a gnomish woman tries to steady one of the poles holding it aloft. Around her waist is an apron embroidered with the Spiced Cupcake’s logo, and she sits with a smile next to a half-orc and a young dwarf wearing aprons matching hers. She adjusts her nametag (“Adira,” it says) and looks out at the people slowly trickling in to set their confections down on the line of tables, and the numerous other Nicodranians around them gathering around the event with curiosity and excitement.

Somewhere in the middle of the line, a young elf and their dwarven parent set two trays down at their assigned table. The trays are piled high with freshly baked black moss cupcakes, and the pair exchanges secret grins as people begin to crowd around their table with interest. The elf puts a cover over each tray to keep the cupcakes warm. They scowl as their parent reaches to adjust their apron (a rough, dark gray thing that looks heavier duty than it needs to be, and printed with a friendly font, “The Warmer Stone Forge”), lightly smacking the dwarf’s hand away and adjusting it by themself. The dwarf rolls their eyes and smiles good-naturedly, moving to stand behind their table.

More contestants like them are beginning to fill up the other tables, in various stages of setting up their entries or just arriving. The beach, busy as it always is, is far more crowded than usual now, as people wait in anticipation for when the event is officially open, and spectators and judges alike can begin tasting.

At the same time, Jester Lavorre is panicking in her and her friends’ kitchen.

On the counter is a beautiful cake covered in chocolate frosting and adorned with blue icing in ribbon like strips across each tier. It sits tall and gorgeous and pristine (so long as one doesn’t look too close) in a sea of mess, kitchen utensils, sprinkles, and ingredients. 

The top of the cake is empty, like a stage set and prepared for magnificent performance, but with no performer.

And finally, in front of Jester, on the floor, is a dick made of chocolate, broken into many, many pieces.

The bottom part of the carefully crafted dick is intact, still slightly glowing pink from the remnants of Jester’s mending cantrip, but it had taken her ten minutes just to mend that much, and there are so many more pieces left and only so much time until the competition is set to begin.

“C’mon, Jes,” Beau says, on the floor and half next to Jester, half cradling her. Beau’s fingers are sticky with chocolate that had melted in her fingers as she tried to hold the pieces of the dick together for Jester to mend. “Look, the cake is super pretty and tastes fucking awesome. Veth’s gone to the store to get something we could use, but even without the giant dick on top, this is a really fucking amazing cake.” She rubs Jester’s arm, careful not to smear chocolate on her.

“The dick was going to be the best part,” Jester says miserably, still trying to mend bits of it together. “And you spent so long making it just right.”   


“Aw, Jester, I don’t care about that,” Beau says gently. “I honestly probably spent a longer time on that titty sculpture and we ate that in like two minutes.”   


Jester laughs softly and Beau smiles.

It’s at that moment that Veth runs in, only seconds after Beau hears the front door slam.

“I got blueberries!” she shouts, immediately taking the contents out of a grocery bag she’s holding.

“What?” Jester says, still quiet.

“Blueberries!” Veth answers brightly. “We still have some leftover chocolate sauce, right?” and Beau’s already holding up the bowl of sticky chocolate frosting. “Perfect!”

Beau helps a confused Jester off the ground and sets to work with Veth, sticking blueberries together with chocolate frosting.

When they step back from the cake, barely a minute of cursing and frantic work later, a tower of blueberries sits on top of the cake in a… not quite distinctly, but somewhat phallic shape.

“Jester, Jester!” Veth says, and Jester feels her eyes start to well up. “Put on the last blueberry!”

Indeed, there’s a spot on the head of the blueberry dick that is smeared with chocolate sauce and needs just one more blueberry to be complete. Jester sniffs and places the last blueberry in its proud position.

“You guys,” she says, sniffling and feeling somewhat raw. “It’s so beautiful.”

Beau and Veth grin at each other, high-fiving.

It really does complete the picture in a beautiful way. Though the new dick sculpture isn’t shaped as perfectly and clearly as the one before, but the blue adds color that compliments the icing and the cake just looks more festive now.

“Ooh, one more thing,” Beau says, and picks up the piping bag with blue icing. She leans forward, her tongue sticking out of her mouth cutely in concentration, and outlines the balls of the blueberry dick so at the base of it are the letters “C-C” in bright blue icing.

_ “Nice,” _ Veth says, grinning widely and high-fiving Beau again, and sometimes Jester loves them so much she doesn’t know what to do with herself.

They work together to haul the cake out of the kitchen, stopping only to burst into giggles when the top of the dick falls apart and Beau has to run into the kitchen to take the extra blueberries and chocolate frosting to bring with them (leaving the cake nearly completely overbalanced as Veth and Jester try to hold it aloft despite their height difference).

The journey to the beach is… difficult, to say the least, but they make it there.

Eventually, sitting in the spot marked “‘Chaos Crew’: Jester Lavorre, Beauregard Lionett, and Veth Brenatto”, is a three-tiered chocolate-frosted cake decorated with blueberries, blue icing, and a blueberry dick sculpture.

Jester looks at her and her partners’ creation. In a few minutes, she’ll go running along the beach to look at each and every confection presented. She still hasn’t seen what Caduceus has made yet, and she  _ needs _ to try whatever it is. She plans to make a stop at the Warmer Stone Forge’s spot and eat at  _ least _ three of their black moss cupcakes. There’s so much to do, and see, and eat, and this beach is basically a theme park made  _ just _ for Jester right now.

But no matter how good everything is when she sets off in a few moments, Jester takes some time to just look at her cake and its lopsided, beautiful blueberry dick that they’ll probably have to rebuild again soon.

She rounds the table to where Beau and Veth are talking and tackles them in a hug, nearly knocking into their cake and the entry next to it.

“I love you,” she says quietly, voice muffled in Beau’s side and Veth’s hair.

She feels Beau’s sigh and Veth’s smile, and she feels a hand come up to cradle her head and another pat her back.

“Love you, too, Jes,” Beau says.

“Love you, Jessie,” Veth chimes. After a few moments, she pulls back. “Now,” Veth claps her hands together. “We’ve already made the best cake ever.”

“In the entire world,” Beau agrees.

“Are you ready…” Veth continues. “For the best  _ date _ ever??”

“Obviously!” Jester replies, feeling her face curl into a wide smile.

“We are going to eat  _ so much cake!” _ Veth shouts, pumping her fists.

Jester and Beau whoop with her, and Jester ignores the people staring at them. This is going to be the best day ever, she thinks, and rushes with Veth down the beach, Beau trailing just behind.

  
  


“Thank you for helping me carry these out,” Fjord says, setting a box of tarts down on his table and beginning to unpack them with gloved hands into neat rows.

“Of course, dear,” Molly says, a similar box balanced on his head, right as Yasha also replies “You’re welcome,” and sets a stack of two boxes and one tiered display stand down onto the table next to Fjord’s arrangement.

Fjord looks over the items on his little section of the table. “I think I can take it from here,” he says. “And of course, you two are welcome to take as many tarts as you like.”

_ “Thank  _ you,” Molly says eagerly, tail lashing behind him as he bends forward to let the box on his head come to rest atop the display stand. Immediately after his head is free, he takes no less than eight tarts, stacking them quickly atop each other and leaning forward with his free hand to give Fjord a pat on the cheek. “Thank you, dear,” he says again, and happily makes his way down the beach, shoving a tart in his mouth.

Fjord looks at Yasha, who’s watching Molly with fondness and exasperation in her gaze. She looks back at Fjord and inclines her head towards Molly, questioning, and Fjord waves her off. “Go, go,” he says. “Have fun and try not to eat too much and get sick.”

Yasha grins and grabs two tarts. “You can’t stop me,” she replies, before following after Molly.

Fjord rolls his eyes and turns back to his display. He has a three tiered wooden stand with basket-shaped bowls suspended on the rack for each tier that takes up half the space he’s allotted. He fills each of the baskets carefully with the honey tarts he’s made and sets up the remaining tarts in rows in front of the stand. 

Fjord steps back and looks at his display. He still has six extra tarts that don’t fit.

He steps back to the table and moves the basket stand to the middle of his area, stacking the other tarts around the stand like waves around a lighthouse.

Well now it just looks messy. And people won’t be able to reach the tarts back behind the stand.

He moves the stand into the corner of the table, and shakes his head before even starting to rearrange the other tarts. That wouldn’t work, it’d be too easy to accidentally knock the stand off the table.

Sighing, but deep in concentration now, Fjord starts to move his display around once more when a head appears in his periphery. 

He jumps.

“What the fuck!” he  _ almost _ yells, whipping his head around to face Caleb, who’s leaning over his display, holding a plate with blueberries and a slice of chocolate and… purple(??) cake?

“Ah, hello, sorry,” Caleb says, one hand holding a small plastic fork. “I did not mean to scare you.”

Fjord recovers, taking a deep breath and releasing it, and straightens up. Good, he didn’t knock over any tarts. “Caleb, what’re you doing here?”

Caleb holds up the plate of cake. “I came mainly to support Jester, Beau, and Veth.” He eats some of the cake, chewing slowly and thinking. “Also checking on Caduceus later. I’m surprised he stayed in the contest after Jester didn’t need to force him anymore.”

Fjord goes back to his first display idea and tries diagonal rows this time. “I was pretty surprised as well. I think it’s hard for him to pull out of a project once he’s gotten his head into it though.”

“I have noticed that,” Caleb says. “I didn’t know you were entering as well.”

“I am,” Fjord says, and laughs somewhat nervously. “I felt like doing some baking and this seemed like a good opportunity.”

“Well, I am excited to taste what you’ve done with it,” Caleb says, and leans forward. “Ah, may I?”

“Of course,” Fjord says, and gestures for Caleb to take some.

Caleb hums (happily, Fjord notices with a smile) and takes five tarts, stacking them on his plate. “For the Chaos Crew,” he clarifies, not that he needed to.

“Ah,” Fjord says. “You should probably take more then, Beau really liked them.”   


Caleb frowns, perplexed, and glances down at the ingredients card in front of him on the table. “But she hates coconut.”

“I know,” Fjord says, somewhat (a lot) smug. “Don’t worry, she’ll thank you.”   


“I am not sure whether or not to trust you with that,” Caleb says humorously, and smiles at Fjord’s offended look. He holds up the plate, nods at Fjord. “I better get these back to them and see if they’ve broken anything. Their cake had a blueberry dick statue that kept falling apart. Good luck?”

“Thank you,” Fjord says. “Have fun with… that?” He watches Caleb walk off, wondering what the  _ fuck _ a blueberry dick statue is and why it makes so much sense in his head that Jester, Beau, and Veth’s cake would have one.

He turns back to his display with a shake of his head. Diagonal rows  _ were _ working, but now that Caleb had just left with ten tarts, the rows ended weirdly. 

Fjord stares at the display, trying to visualize if pyramid stacking the tarts would work, fall over, or work but block the basket stand. A halfling walks by and takes a tart, continuing to walk down the beach while munching with a pleased hum.

Fjord sighs. The food is there for  _ eating _ not for display. Whatever display he makes will be changed in seconds anyway, especially since Jester’s here. He shudders thinking about the things Jester could possibly rearrange his tarts to shape.

Fjord nods to himself. No sense worrying about neat rows if people are just going to be taking and eating from the rows. Right then, as if to prove his point, a dragonborn walks by, taking three tarts at once and jostling five other ones.

Fjord resists the urge to scream, then fails to resist the urge to neaten up the rows. 

Clearly, he needs to go on a walk and see the other confections people have brought. 

Nodding again, resolutely this time, Fjord takes two tarts for himself and turns to see what the people next to him have made.

  
  


Caduceus walks along the beach, taking in all the confections lined up on the tables, occasionally stopping and asking about the recipes and ingredients when the chef is present. The tables are open to tasting now, and he’s eaten a plethora of different vegan confections, notes in his head on things he’s learned that he can try at home.

He’d also given out nearly a dozen cupcakes by the time he left his spot to go explore. People had liked them a lot, though each person who tried one had also taken the time to comment on how “unique” they tasted.

It’s a nice day. The wind whips through his hair and tickles his ears, making the skirt of his dress billow around his legs, but the sun is bright for early Spring and the sound of waves and children at the beach is nice background noise.

His nose catches the scent of honey, sweet and familiar. He looks around, quickly spotting the source one table in front of him, a little display stacked neatly with yellow gold tarts.

He makes his way over and stops in front of the display, looking over the ingredients listen on the notecard before picking one up and taking a bite.

The taste of coconut comes first as the treat seems to almost melt in his mouth, followed closely after by the very surprisingly light flavor of honey.  _ Bisaft’s _ honey. Caduceus smiles, about to look down at the notecard to confirm his suspicions when he hears someone come to a stop to his right.

He looks up from the display and looks right at Fjord, who’s looking a little caught out.

There’s quiet for a moment between them, the rest of the beach continuing to move around them as Fjord’s mouth opens and closes and Caduceus continues to chew the tart in his mouth.

“Hi, Caduceus,” Fjord says, at the same time as Caduceus says, “This is really good.”

Fjord’s eyebrows go up in surprise before he laughs quietly. “You like it?” he asks.

“I do,” Caduceus says, taking another bite. “What’s in it?” 

“Uhm, flour, honey, soy milk, coconut--” he cuts himself off. “Wait, you didn’t read the ingredients card before eating it? What if it wasn’t vegan?”

“No, I did,” Caduceus says. “It’s just more interesting hearing you talk about it. Usually the process somewhat comes out in the answers.”

Fjord pauses and smiles, shakes his head. “Of course,” he says, and he sounds amused. “Uh, would you like another? Or is there anything you think I should add or change next time?”

“Hmm,” Caduceus chews, thinking. “You could try a pinch of salt,” he says. “Not really a requirement but it’d be interesting to see if that compliments the other flavors.”   


Fjord nods. “That’d be interesting.” His eyes widen and he adds, “Oh, I could try spices next time, too! Jester would probably like that.” He thinks to himself for a moment before grinning up at Caduceus. “I feel like I should mention Beau tried these and really liked them.”   


“What,” Caduceus says automatically. “But she hates coconut.”   


“I know!” Fjord says, bouncing on his heels a little in excitement. He sighs, flips his hair that’s barely long enough to flip. “Guess I’m just that good.”

Caduceus rolls his eyes, but says, honestly. “You really are, you know. These are incredible.”   


Fjord stops preening as his mouth scrunches up and he gnaws on the inside of his cheek. “Thank you,” he says eventually. “I haven’t, ah, committed myself to a project like this in a while. It was quite nice.” He shifts on his feet, turning slightly. “Could you walk me to your table? I’m eager to see what you’ve done.”

“Sure,” Caduceus says, sucking the last crumbs of the tarts from his fingers. “So I improved the mushroom recipe,” he says, while they’re walking.

“It really didn’t need improving, but okay,” Fjord replies.

“You are literally the only person who thought that,” Caduceus says, and smiles as Fjord makes an affronted noise.

“Those cupcakes were  _ so good!” _

“They are now,” Caduceus says. “They were not then.”

“I can’t believe you’re gonna tell me I’m wrong.”

“Look you know I try to keep most of my judgey thoughts to myself,” Caduceus says. “But you’re wrong. They were disgusting.”

“Jokes on you, you made them so you’re judging yourself.”   


“I’m judging your taste.”

“Careful,” Fjord says, sniffing. “If you hurt your favorite customer he might not come back.”

Caduceus finds himself smiling helplessly at that. “Favorite?” he says, fake doubtfully, just because he doesn’t know how else to respond.

Fjord gasps, mock offended. “Ducey, am I not your favorite?”

And Caduceus really doesn’t know what to say to that except smile bigger and walk a little quicker to get to his station. Saying… anything to that, really, feels like too much, too soon, too  _ honest _ when Caduceus isn’t sure if he should get something like this yet, or at  _ all. _

It’s such a strange thing, calling someone a favorite, funny when ironic and something Caduceus  _ has _ done ironically many times. 

But if he calls Fjord his favorite, that might come out a little too… honest.

Which is not really something Caduceus wants to think about right now, so he rounds the table to stand behind it when they get to his entry and waits for Fjord to try the cupcakes.

“Oh my god,” Fjord says immediately, like he can’t help it, when he sees the mushroom cupcakes lined up in Caduceus’ little area. “‘Duceus, you-- oh my god.”

Each of the (giant) cupcakes has a different pattern on top made of blackberries and apricot bits, the two fruits’ colors making patterns of spots, stripes, and rings, just like one would find on a mushroom out in the world. 

Actually, just like some of the mushrooms in the Nein’s garden, ones Caduceus had magically cultivated on a day he was missing his birth family. 

Fjord stares at the cupcakes in amazement. “‘Duceus, these are  _ beautiful.” _ Tentatively, he picks one up. It looks huge in his hand.

“Thank you,” Caduceus says, shifting his weight as his face warms.

Fjord looks at the other cupcakes, his face lighting up when he seems to notice something. “Are those  _ beetles? _ Made of tiny leaves?”

“Oh, yeah!” Caduceus says. “Clarabelle sent me some new beetle pictures so I ripped up some apricot leaves to make those.” He feels himself beaming. “You know, I don’t usually spend so long on decorating but I really got into it this time.”

“They look great,” Fjord says, and puts the cupcake in his hand down so that he can rub his face for a second. “Really fucking adorable, actually.”

A chuckle-- almost a giggle (a  _ giggle, _ really, Caduceus, a  _ giggle?) _ \-- escapes Caduceus’ mouth and he resists shrinking down underneath the table. “Um,” he says, and waves a hand for Fjord to try the cupcake.

“Right, right,” Fjord says, seeming to blink out of something, and picks up the cupcake. “Now, I  _ highly _ doubt this could compare to the earlier recipe, but--”

“Just try the cupcake, Fjord.”

Fjord grins and takes a bite.

Immediately his eyebrows raise and Caduceus unconsciously leans in. He swallows and takes a second, clears his throat.

“Yeah, nope, it was definitely better before,” Fjord says, and Caduceus’ heart drops before he reads into it and realizes Fjord has what Veth would call a shit-eating grin on his face.

“Kidding, I’m kidding,” Fjord says, laughing, and Caduceus glares at him. He reaches forward without thinking and takes the cupcake from Fjord’s hand, ignoring his sputtered gasp. 

“You don’t get anymore,” Caduceus says, frowning and taking a bite. He savors it somewhat pettily, because it is  _ delicious, _ and takes a step back so the cupcake is out of reach of Fjord’s grabby hands.

“Fine,” Fjord says, after a minute of trying to get the cupcake back. “Then I’ll just help myself to one of these,” and he makes for the cupcakes displayed on the table.

“You can’t,” Caduceus says. “I forbid you.”

“You-- you  _ forbid-- _ you can’t forbid me!”

“I just did,” Caduceus says, and does not sniff, much less in a petty fashion. He takes another bite of  _ wonderful _ cupcake.

He ignores Fjord’s pout, because Fjord is honestly  _ pouting, _ and keeps eating, pretending he doesn’t see the endearingly crestfallen look on Fjord’s face.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Fjord begin to slowly reach for a cupcake on the table, so Caduceus reaches forward and bats his hand out of the way.

“Ow!” Fjord says, sounding much more hurt than possible from the tiny slap, puppy dog eyes fully out.

“Rude customers don’t get any,” Caduceus says, and does not think about how his pout probably rivals Fjord’s.

“Please, Caduceus,” Fjord says, dragging out the syllables. “It was really good, I was just messing with you.”   


Caduceus feels himself pout further and takes another bite to hide it. He’s almost out of cupcake.

“Really, the texture is magnificent.”

Caduceus watches a butterfly flit past.

“The blackberry and apricot go really well with the mushroom, and the hint of vanilla underneath it all really brings it together.”

Caduceus feels his ears twitch and focuses harder on the cupcake.

“I’d really like it if you taught me the recipe, sometime? Honestly, I’d just like to cook more with you and eat more of your food. You always keep us in mind, be it our preferences or our nutrition.”   


Caduceus feels his cheeks warm and he shuts his eyes, pursing his lips together.

“You know, one of my ideas for my entry was to try making the mushroom cupcake recipe, the original one.”

His ears twitch again, the movement larger this time.

“Of course, it would’ve been difficult being unable to ask you for help, while I was trying to keep it a secret from you.”

It’s getting increasingly hard to pretend he’s not listening intently and paying full attention to Fjord’s words.

“I know it’s strange that I was trying to hide it. I can’t really explain why. I suppose I haven’t baked in awhile, and I know I’m good at it, but…”

Caduceus is out of cupcake. He watches a fly land on the table and listens.

“I guess I didn’t want to look silly? Or something, I don’t know. Which is strange, because you don’t look silly baking. Even when you get a bit of flour on your nose, but that’s just really cute. So I don’t know why I would be afraid of looking silly.”

Caduceus’ eyes immediately flit up to Fjord’s face at  _ that _ comment before shifting again, still trying to look as if he’s not paying attention when there’s nothing else in the vicinity he could possibly be paying more attention to.

“I think I’m glad I waited though. I felt more ready today. And the tarts came out really well. I think I’ll try some salt, like you said. It’d be fun if we did it together.”

Caduceus’ eyes try to find something to land on while his full attention is still on Fjord.

“We could make a date out of it.”

Caduceus’ ears traitorously do a surprised… not even twitch, practically  _ wiggle _ at that, and Caduceus swivels to look right at Fjord despite the heat he feels all over his face.

Fjord is smiling at him, smug and soft. “Knew you were listening.”

“Um,” Caduceus says. “I…” he trails off, mouth wide and eyes blinking.

“We don’t have to,” Fjord says, and picks up a cupcake to munch on. Caduceus doesn’t even comment on that, heart racing in his chest.

“Do you… Do you mean that?” he asks, and resists the urge to run into the sea and let himself be washed away.

“That you don’t have to? Of course,” Fjord says, and blinks at him.

Caduceus breathes, and looks at him. Really looks at him. 

Fjord is looking up at him, hair tied back in a tiny bun, mouth set, and standing still. There’s a bit of cupcake on his lower lip, framed by stubble coming in. He shifts, awkwardly, and his eyes fly down for a moment before reclaiming contact with Caduceus’. He wipes one hand on his side, as if his palms are sweaty. One tusk gnaws on the inside of his mouth.

Caduceus is fairly confident in his ability to read people.

“Um,” Caduceus says again. “You’re free next weekend, right? There’s a… version of this recipe I’d like to try making that we could do together.” 

As much as Caduceus preaches honesty, he’s finding it’s hard to be completely forthright when it comes to what he wants.

Fjord smiles, wide, his eyes scrunching up with the depth of it. “I’d like that.” Then, “I’d really like that.”

“Cool,” Caduceus says, without thinking, and feels very warm when Fjord laughs quietly.

He buries his expression in another cupcake.

  
  


“Oh my god,” Jester whispers, tumbling to a stop and tugging on Veth’s sleeve.

“What? What?” Beau and Veth are saying behind her, but she shooshes them and watches.

A half-orc, a gnome, and a dwarf stand in front of a table parallel to an elf and another dwarf. The first group, with their backs to Jester and her partners, wear aprons in browns and oranges, and the second in dark, heavy grays. Jester recognizes them as Dean, Adira, and Kolin, bakers at the Spiced Cupcake and long time suppliers of Jester’s sugary needs, and Vierna and Min, the owners of the Warmer Stone Forge and more recent suppliers of Jester’s sugary needs. Between them, on the table, are stacks of black moss cupcakes, seemingly recently restocked.

Jester lets out a tiny squeal, holding her breath Adira tries a black moss cupcake. She scuttles around through the people walking by to see their faces, half-trying not to look suspicious.

Adira’s eyebrows raise a few moments after the treat enters her mouth and  _ god, _ Jester wishes that were her. She remembers the first time she had a black moss cupcake, how she’d been disappointed at first and then tasted the cream filling and  _ oh my god _ her entire world had changed and she can still remember the exact subtleties of the flavor and texture and how it had melted and crumbled amazingly in her mouth.

(Which is not that surprising, considering she’d just had one the day before.)

Jester leans in, so  _ so _ eager to see what her favorite bakery has to say about the specialty of her other favorite bakery (the Spiced Cupcake and the Warmer Stone Forge, respectively, not any of Jester’s uncountable other favorite bakeries).

Just barely, almost out of her hearing range,  _ so _ quiet, as Adira seems almost reluctant to mumble the words, Jester hears her mutter, “That’s fucking good.”

Jester watches in  _ delight _ as Dean’s mouth drops open and holds their hand out eagerly for some to try, and then she’s seeing the same expressions cross  _ their _ face then Kolin’s too and  _ this _ is what pastries are for,  _ look _ at the joy being shared through baked sweets, the new discoveries and experiences!

And also, the smug looks of victors on Vierna and Min’s faces. Jester feels that too. She feels somewhat like she’s won too, getting a front row seat to someone having a black moss cupcake for the very first time.

She turns around with a flourish to Veth and Beau, smile big on her face, and gives a happy, happy sigh. Somewhere over her shoulder, she feels a presence and hears a deep chuckle, and Jester smiles up at the Traveller before looking back to her partners.

“Okay, I just needed to see that! Where do you want to go now?” she beams at them.

Veth squints. “Wait, was that? What was that?”

“Yeah, I still don’t really get what the ‘that’ was that you needed to see,” Beau says.

Jester laughs and pats them on the shoulders.  _ “‘That’  _ was someone experiencing the wonders of a black moss cupcake for the  _ very first time,” _ she says, shooting her hands around in pizazzy motions around “black moss cupcake” and “very first time”. “Now,” she says, with great importance. “We were on a date and were in the middle of trying every single baked good here. Beau, how many have we got?”

“Uh,” Beau says, holding a little notepad with tally marks and a table of names and doodles of baked treats. “We’ve had eighteen, we have twenty-three left untried, and three spots at least to revisit.”

Veth taps her notepad, leaning over Beau’s arm to see what she’s written. “And I want to go back to the table with the cinnamon buns. I’m visiting Luc and Yeza this week and Luc won’t stop until he tries every single cinnamon pastry in Nicodranas. Jester’s influence.” 

Beau makes a note before replying. “Oh, and the table with the peach pound cake. You really liked that one right? So, at least five spots to revisit.”

Jester and Beau both carefully pretend not to notice the way Veth glows at Beau paying attention. “Well then, what’re we waiting for?” Jester says, leaning forward to grab both their hands. “Let’s  _ go!” _

  
  


Fjord forgot that he was at the beach on Nicodranas during a baking competition with numerous things to eat, a nice breeze to walk around in, and plenty of things to see and talk about. He forgot that when he’d been trying to get Caduceus to stop ignoring him and the words to ask him out had tripped out of his mouth before he could stop them (he’d psyched himself up for it. He  _ had. _ He’s too much of an overthinker to not have. He just also… was so wrapped up in the cute little twitches Caduceus’ ear was doing and the bit of apricot stuck on the fuzz of Caduceus’ beard that he hadn’t had enough time to talk himself out of it.)

So he’d… asked Caduceus out on a date set for a location and time other than here and now, Caduceus had agreed  _ (he’d agreed!), _ and then there’d been twenty seconds of awkward silence and shifting as he realized that a) there was literally no reason not to just go on a date  _ right _ now, and b) he had no idea how to change his already accepted ask-out into an ask-out for now and not next weekend. Well, hopefully now and  _ also _ next weekend  _ (if _ things went well. Fjord would probably need time to reflect.)

Eventually it’d worked out, Caduceus asking which tables he’d been to and which he hadn’t and then they’d decided to explore together and now Fjord is holding Caduceus’ hand in his (sweaty, his palms are  _ so _ sweaty. God, Beau and Jester had  _ both _ come to him lamenting about nervous sweaty palms when they’d first started dating and now he couldn’t even laugh at them for it!) and they’re walking down the beach, the skirt of Caduceus’ dress occasionally brushing up against the back of his hand when the wind comes towards them.

Fjord is on top of the  _ world. _

He’s so deep in his own head, despite everything and his fascination and admiration of Caduceus and the way the thin layer of fur on Caduceus’ hands and wrists feels against Fjord’s skin and the gentle smile on Caduceus’ face and the spark of curiosity and excitement in Caduceus’ eyes as they walk by table after table and the way Caduceus’ hair occasionally sweeps into one of their faces and Caduceus has to comb it out of his face or turns to Fjord and profusely apologizes as Fjord recovers from  _ pink _ suddenly obliterating all his senses.

(His hair smells like fungus and earth and moss and, honestly, just a hint of beetle poop, and Fjord adores it in the way that he adores mushroom and moss sandwiches, and the nook in the tree and the pool of water in the garden at home, and tea made from people in graves.)

Despite that though, despite that all, and he really shouldn’t be surprised at this point, Fjord is deep in his own thoughts.

It doesn’t feel like he’s drowning in them, which is nice, the coastal breeze keeping him tethered rather than crushed and pulled down and away. 

He’s just… 

It’s been ages since he actually… pursued someone? Is that the word people use? It feels weird in his head. It’s been, honestly years, since he’s been romantic with someone and wanted it. It’s been ages since he’s wanted romance at all. 

But this is… This is Caduceus. Who is… warm, and peculiar, and has shown and taught Fjord new things and who Fjord wants to show and teach new things. 

He still wants to go sailing with Caduceus. He’s already been on the sea with him, multiple times, but there was always something to do, some sort of agenda. Sometime, he wants to take Caduceus out onto the open waters and just… spend time with him. He knows he can get Caduceus to warm up to the ocean and he can’t wait for the opportunity to really put his mind to it.

It’s Caduceus. Fjord has long realized he wants to spend time with him and that he will never learn enough about him.

Romance is… trickier. Fjord doesn’t really know what it’s like to want romance, but he thinks he wants it with Caduceus. Maybe.

He feels… He feels like… There’s adoration, and attraction, and fascination, and wonder, and trust, and gratitude, and god that’s a lot of words and sounding them out all at once in his head feels suddenly like a lot, like a wave rising slowly that’s higher than he thought it’d be, and he lets it wash over him.

Fjord looks at Caduceus and finds him already looking back, watching Fjord.

He smiles and squeezes Caduceus’ hand (Fjord’s hand is still steady, but it’s alright). Lets himself lean over and knock his shoulder into Caduceus’. He blushes, not really sure what he’s doing. But he looks up again, and Caduceus is still smiling. Caduceus’ ears twitch, and his nose does a little quiver, and then Caduceus’ attention is caught by a table stacked with hard, not very appetizing-looking brownies. He looks back at Fjord a second later, eyes a little worried, and Fjord smiles, genuinely, happy to be holding his hand and watching him ask each and every baker they walk into what they’ve put into their recipes and their favorite parts of the process.

Caduceus turns back to the brownies and Fjord looks at him. Looks at the ocean beyond his shoulders. 

Later, they wade into the sea together, Caduceus’ hair held in a bun (with only three braids) by Fjord’s hairband, fingers covered in crumbs and sticky jams of various baked goods, kids and adults running all around the beach, screaming and laughing, and the sun slowly starting to head towards the horizon. 

He swipes a lock of hair behind Caduceus’ ear (on the second try, because tucking hair behind a firbolg’s long flappy ear a whole foot above his head apparently requires a different maneuver from his own pointy half-orc ears or Beau’s roundish human ears) and watches the smile come on Caduceus’ face.

When Caduceus splashes him, he’s taken aback, then sputtering, then invigorated, then chasing Caduceus across the waves.

When Fjord reaches Caduceus, he doesn’t know what he’s going to do yet.

The sun is setting, waves lap around their ankles, and that’s okay.

  
  


“Oh my god,” Beau moans, words muffled around the spoon in her mouth. “Jes, Veth, you gotta try this.” She holds out the spoon and slides the plate across the table, a slice of ube cake sitting in the center of the plate.

Veth takes the spoon and takes a bite, then passes it to Jester who takes two, then Jester passes it to Beau who takes another, and the cycle continues until all the cake is gone and Jester smacks her lips happily, licking the remainder of purple crumbs off her lips.

They’ve somehow migrated to a bakery near a tiny street corner, a small little shop sandwiched by a big expensive tailor and a two-building restaurant. The sun is setting, they’ve tasted over forty desserts, and on the ground next to Jester’s feet is a bag holding their now empty cake stand.

A thought suddenly occurs to Jester and she groans out loud, tossing her head back over the back of her chair.

(The bakery is empty besides them and the lone cashier, whose head is tucked into a pink book.)

Beau and Veth turn to her and she raises her head. “We forgot to stick around and see who won.”

“Shit,” Beau says, emphatically. Then, “Did we want to win?”

“Not really,” Jester says. “I just wanted to know who would win.”   


“Then we can just go to the Spiced Cupcake next week and see what’s new on their menu,” Veth says, scraping the plate for crumbs and tiny smears of frosting.

“We could bring Fjord and Caduceus too, since they both participated,” Beau points out.

“That’s right!” Jester says, sitting up straight. “Caleb brought us some of his tarts. I can’t believe he didn’t tell me he was going to enter.”   


“I’m sure it’s because he knew he would lose to us,” Veth says, sniffing.

Jester knows Veth is just teasing, but she makes a mental note to talk to Fjord about it later.

Her stomach gives a weak gurgle, and Jester flops down onto the tiny table. “You guys, I think I ate too much.”

She hears Beau snort. “We went overboard like twenty desserts ago.”

“I’m not the one who dragged us to a bakery after all that.”   


“You were,” Veth and Beau say in unison, and Jester frowns. Not fair.

“Not fair,” she complains, out loud, drawing out the last word. “You can’t team up on me like that.”

A moment later, she feels a kiss on top of her head from Beau and one on her horn from Veth. She smiles, triumphant. “Okay, you’re forgiven.”

Veth pats her arm, and after some minutes of comfortable quiet, Veth and Beau conversing quietly above her with the gentle hum of the bakery’s heater behind them, Jester feels herself starting to doze off.

“Okay,” Beau’s saying, gently above her, and then she feels a hand tucked under her arm and lifting her torso up off the table. “Come on, you can’t sleep here. Let’s go home.”

“C’mon, Jessie,” Veth says, and pinches her cheek gently. Jester whines. “Alright, alright.”

Jester lets herself fall against Beau’s shoulder, not at all hiding how she enjoys the feel of Beau’s muscles, and squeezes as she feels Veth take her hand. She calls a drowsy thank you to the person behind the counter (Ray? Raquel?), Beau and Veth echoing her, and lets her partners take the lead and guide them home.

She falls asleep as her head hits the pillow, and looks forward to a day at the Spiced Cupcake.

  
  


Caduceus sits on his bed, legs hanging off the side and feet flat on the floor. He’s already changed into his pajamas but his hair is still in a bun on his head. It’s messy now, one push from completely falling apart and down across his shoulders from all the splashing between him and Fjord and the scrambled attempts at running away from the waves when they had sat down on the wet sand and realized nearly too late that the tide was rising over their spot.

Caduceus sits, still smiling a little.

Before he can think better of it, he unlocks his phone, takes a picture of the messy mop on his head, opens his text messages, and starts taking out his hair.

**weed kids minus the rat**

**less annoying brother:** [sent a photo]

**women want me fish fear me:** caduceus what

**less annoying brother:** fjord did my hair

**belle:** ohhh that’s nice :)))

**women want me fish fear me:** CADUCEUS WHAT

Unable to resist, Caduceus sends another photo, this one of clasped hands.

**weed kids minus the rat**

**less annoying brother:** [sent a photo]

**women want me fish fear me:** oh my gOD

**belle:** oHHH that’s nice :)))))))))

**less annoying brother:** the baking competition went well :) thanks for both your help

**women want me fish fear me:** cADUCEUS 

**less annoying brother:** ok goodnight

**women want me fish fear me:** NO

**women want me fish fear me:** oh my god

**women want me fish fear me:** i can’t believe you

**belle:** night caduceus! tell me about it tomorrow :D

**less annoying brother:** <3

**women want me fish fear me:** GET BACK HERE

Caduceus turns off his phone, combs through his hair one last time, and settles in for bed, making sure the door is still open for Yasha to come in.

He dreams of ocean winds, fields of underwater mushrooms and coral, and seaweed brushing his ankles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3


	5. Enjoy!

Caduceus walks slowly with the group as Jester runs ahead, shoving the door to the Spiced Cupcake open. He smiles at the bell that sounds when the door opens and sighs fondly at the scream Jester lets out the moment she’s in the door.

A few seconds later, they’ve all entered, and Caduceus looks up at the bright chalkboard menu that now says in swirling gold chalk marker:

_ “Limited Edition for the Month of Dualahei! Spiced Cupcake and Warmer Stone Forge Collaboration: Black Moss Bear Claws” _

“Huh,” Caduceus says, and he smiles bigger, pleasantly surprised. “That’s nice.”

“They get along now!” Jester squeals, and hugs Caduceus happily before bounding to the counter to order for the Nein and gossip with Adira.

Caduceus settles down at a table with the rest of the group, feeling warm when Fjord nudges their shoulders together as he sits. They’ve talked about what they both want, and it was… really nice. Caduceus has a feeling the conversations they had are not how conversations about dating usually go, but he liked it. He likes Fjord. He hasn’t really dated before, and Fjord hasn’t really wanted to date before and in the end they just laid out some things they each wanted. Fjord wants to take him out on the ocean again. Caduceus hadn’t really had many long term plans (and he had a feeling it wasn’t quite the time to admit that one day he hopes the Nein, including Fjord, will let him lay them to rest in the Blooming Grove), but he admitted he wanted to braid and dye Fjord’s hair. Fjord had ducked his head and, his face warm (Caduceus checked with the back of his own hand brushed against Fjord’s cheek), said he’d like to keep holding Caduceus’ hand. In response, Caduceus had murmured a quiet “okay,” and gently laid his fingers against Fjord’s, waited permission before loosely tucking their hands together.

Those were nice conversations.   


(He’d also, jokingly, said he’d like to take Fjord shopping, and was surprised when Fjord agreed, near immediately. So now he has a shopping trip to plan, mapping out in his head which stores are okay to revisit with Fjord, which places he would go to with Jester and Caleb and their other friends but doesn’t need to go to with Fjord, and which shops and areas he hasn’t visited yet that he and Fjord would both like exploring.)

He’s conversing with Yasha about a part of the garden they’re planning to redo when he feels fingers grazing his, then a hand clasping his hand. He smiles inwardly, continuing. “I think we could try pansies, but I kind of like the look of lilies.”

“If we get lilies, they’ll look very nice next to our gardenia plant,” Yasha says thoughtfully. “Then again, so would pansies.”

They keep discussing it until Yasha gets up to help Jester bring all their orders back to the table (not that she needs the help) and Caduceus chances a look at Fjord.

He’s talking with Beau but glances back at Caduceus when he feels him looking. Caduceus watches as Fjord puffs his cheeks out for a split second before looking innocently off at a corner of the ceiling, all without breaking his sentence. Caduceus rolls his eyes.

A moment later, Fjord seems to notice Yasha’s gotten up to help Jester and starts standing as well, calling out, “Do you need--”

Frowning, Caduceus tugs on the hand holding his, pulling Fjord back down into his seat.

Fjord looks at him, blinking.

“They can handle it,” Caduceus says, and notices that all their friends are staring at them.

To their credit, they’re trying to be subtle about it, and Caduceus is sure Fjord hasn’t noticed yet, but Caduceus is more than perceptive enough.

It’s then that Jester and Yasha come back with two trays stacked high with baked goods, at least half of which are dark colored bear claws bursting with cream.

It’s easy enough then for the group’s attention to be diverted to sweet, fresh from the oven pastries and steaming mugs of tea and coffee.

For a moment, at least. Caduceus sees Beau elbow Fjord and Fjord yelp loudly in protest before whispering “later”.

For now, Caduceus uses one hand to eat his black moss bear claw and watches Jester feed Sprinkle as the little weasel tears apart the pastry on her fingers. He laughs with the rest of their friends, smiles at Jester, Veth, and Beau’s dramatic recounting of their dick cake, and feels content. Fjord’s hand is warm and solid in his, his friends are as boisterous as ever around him, and there is the taste of sweet, earthy pastry on his tongue.

He’s excited for where this group will take him next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had a lot of fun writing this :) hope u enjoyed reading!! :D

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! i'm on tumblr @modernvetherature, though i'm not super active except for reblogging art


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